Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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