their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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