you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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