i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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