So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
