So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
