Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
