We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
