Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
