That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
