Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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