If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
