I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
