Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
