I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
