So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
