shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
