we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
