Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
