Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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