he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
