Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
