Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
