remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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