There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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