I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
