you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
