How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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