i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
