I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
