i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
