in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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