from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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