you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
