we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
