11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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