i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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