I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
