these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
