Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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