I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
