I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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