Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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