Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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