he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
