I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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