I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
