I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Your penis caused this!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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