Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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