I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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