Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
