addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
