I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
